Keeping it simple.

I just had a long, long talk with my brother. I felt good and bad about it... good because we finally talked for more than 2 minutes, about stuff other than who gets to use the comp, etc. But also a little guilty for not doing this for years and years.

Ah well, like everyone's been telling me, it's never too late to start.



Now I know why I ought to give this stuff more priority than mugging for the promos. I finally feel at peace with myself.

:)

I felt the urge to blog again.

I felt the urge to blog again.
(Thank goodness I didn't lose my password)

I don't know how this happened, but my mum and I ended up talking about suicide after dinner. Said one of her friend's daughters attempted it, but I don't know why she wanted to tell me about it though.

Then she started telling me about other suicide stories that she had heard of. Like this one of a man (middle-aged, I assume), who took his mum out to the shopping mall one day, then sent her home after they had their fun, then crossed the road, took a lift up to the top floor of a 16 storey HDB block and jumped. Or this one of a 3rd year medical student who took her own life (probably because she couldn't take the pressure, according to my mum).

My mum said that these people were selfish. And I guess she's right. I can't stop thinking about how the man's mum must have felt when she heard the news... maybe these people should have spared a thought for those around them before they went ahead and... did it.

But at the same time I can't help but feel sorry for these people who chose to end it all. I mean, try putting yourself in the shoes of someone who has just decided that life's not worth living anymore... life must have thrown quite a lot of sh*t at him/her. And I guess I don't get to feel THAT sick of living, even when I'm hit by the worst existentialist crises (which can be pretty... emotionally draining) so... I guess it really isn't easy. For them. For anyone who might be staring blankly at the crowd below from the parapet on the 16th floor.

I guess it really isn't easy. For anyone.




Alright enough of the angst. Econs notes. Then Facebook.

3rd Jan 2007!

Yay! School is starting TOMORROW!!


Haven't been able to blog lately because all the undersea cables were wrecked, and the NGOs needed the internet after all those disasters. Oh well, might as well help them save a few lives. Research on the backgrounds of my OG members and blogging could wait.

I have become soooo self-conscious lately. When you start to look at yourself more in the mirror you start to notice how imperfect you are... e.g. this morning when I noticed ANOTHER OUTBREAK! Gosh why must all this happen before school starts? Ah well... I guess there are too many mirrors at home... must start to forget how I look! Then maybe I'll be a happier person.

Anyway, I'm really excited abt tmr. Must remind myself to bring a badge for Bing and to WATCH MY MOUTH (and also don't laugh so hard when I meet stupid/ugly people).

See you tomorrow!

Happy Holidays Everyone.

Sanguine? No, not really.
More 'sanguinary' actually.

Happy Holidays Everyone.

Room with a View

This is what I see when I look out of my bedroom window. An apartment block awaiting demolition.


If you look behind this block, you will see the bulldozers working on another similar block. This block that I see... doesn't have much time left.

Yea, life is cruel... Once you're old and obsolete, you get replaced.



I wonder when they'll come for me.

Please do not move off the jumping tram.

Haha THIMUN just ended... and I'm back from a family outing to Sentosa.

I must say that both of these events have taught me a thing or two about diplomacy. For the former, I have to pretend to appreciate resolutions that totally suck (so that people will support the amendments I propose) and for the latter, I have to pretend to appreciate the company of cousins who are, in terms of chronological age, older than I am, but in terms of mental age, comparable to my brother (who's in P6, btw), and yes I have to pretend to enjoy myself.

My goodness... Sentosa is really nothing but a place where tourists get cheated of their money. The Luge (which everyone but me found darn enjoyable... ) costs... 8 freaking bucks?? And I fail to see whats so nice about it. Maybe it's because my cousins really enjoyed it... and that just goes to show that everything they enjoy is kiddish and a waste of money.

One more thing I want to mention... I think I'm starting to speak with a slight accent. You can't really blame me... 4 days of listening to angmohs or asians who speak with an angmoh accent really 'converts' one.

For those who find themselves offended after reading this blog post, sorry, but tough shit, this is MY blog. Go read something else.

Closure?

I'm still gathering grad night photos... cos I forgot to bring a camera, so tough sh*t... gotta go ask a billion people for the photos they took of me.

Anyway I guess I'll need to cough up a "closure" blog entry to end the year... yea the usual entry where one thanks everyone who needs to be thanks, and apologizes for being mean etc etc etc. I guess I shall save that for later since I don't seem quite ready to wax lyrical... yet.

Debating... Sigh. While I do know that I'm getting back on-track after the 'debating stroke' that set in after JGs (believe me learning how to debate again is just as frustrating as learning how to walk again after a stroke... DEP sessions feel like physiotherapy... with a time frame), I don't know if this is enough... or whether I'm competent in the first place. Yea, I start wondering whether some people just cannot debate and whether I am one of these people.

I don't know whether I want to continue doing all of this... or just END IT. Right here. Whatever the case, it's going to hurt. And it is hurting.